Not If I See You First

My darling wife is a certifiable genius, I am sure, and she likes me, I think, and it always cracks me up when I tell her I will see her later and she says, sweetly, "Not if I see you first," in exactly the same voice and exactly the same expression as if she were saying "yes, and I will gently kiss your face off and feed you a chocolate milkshake."

I think, years ago, she actually misunderstood what the saying meant, the same way, I don't know, the same way I once thought a "few" must mean "two" because they rhymed. Second-grade "still getting your bearings on the planet" stuff. I think she didn't think about it for years. Decades. Then said it to me once, and I laughed, and the ice was broken and we figured everything out.

Now I think she says it because it's cute. Or because she means it. Either way, we get by fine.